I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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