so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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