Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
