office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
