my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
