Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
