It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
