I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
