is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
