You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
