I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
