id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Randomize
