i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
