So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
