Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Randomize
