So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize
