Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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