Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
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