I'd wear matching sweaters with you
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
