I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
