Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
