Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
