i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
