Dual....:-)
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Randomize
