home. puking in laundry basket.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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