shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
