No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
