I smell stomach acid.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
