i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
My liver just had a heart attack.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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