If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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