Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
