your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
