dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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