How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
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