How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Randomize
