That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
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