I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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