Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
There's even glitter on my cock...
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