so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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