Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
