Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
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