he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
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