I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
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