watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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