Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
