I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
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