Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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