I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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