He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
