Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
