real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Randomize
